• 6:34 AM, Wednesday, April 30, 2008

This day stinks.
From the start it already suck.
In the morning, i accidentally saw something that hurt my eyes. Crap.
This girl, she was alighting from the cab/ car, whatever.
I don't know how she seat in the car. Seat until the whole skirt can kena lifted even after she stood. And she was like flashing her butt around.
And she didnt even have the decency to wear pants inside.
And don't say I'm pervertic, please.
the afternoon got badminton PT.
Tiring like heeellll!!!
Zzz...
Then currently at home, I'm bored. I lazy do homework nia.
And I cant watch videos or play comp games until the holidays.
And walao, wei wen's doing a lousy job in comforting me because of *you know what*.
No offence.

Ripples form on the water’s surface. The wandering soul knows no rest.

• 4:17 AM, Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Wheeee! Completed my PSP game Crisis Core Final Fantasy.
Hais. Its so damn fun nia. How come so fast end de. Crap. I don't know what to play le. I sound like a PSP addict. but please I'm not! I've so many questions to ask about it. Cause the game is like somehow uncompleted, in my own perspective. I'm thinking of ringing my cousin and ask him, but maybe next time.

Okay. Back to 2 days ago, Alex's birthday!! I bought for him a Keroro model kit. Also a called a plamo, which costs $16!! Lols.
Very few people went there. Probably because Lex didnt invite all of them. Sian.
Saw her. I thought I wouldn't emo, not even for the slightest bit. but after a while, I left the room. And sat at a table and quietened down. hais..
Etc. Etc.
All the effort I made to stop thinking about her, and I'm all back where I started
I'm back to thinking about her and her school life, etc etc. I even wondered if her male classmates do bully her or not. Ahaha.
I'm laughing at myself. How much hopeless can I get. I'm so useless.

Infinite in mystery is the gift of goddess. We seek it thus, and take it to the sky.

• 5:54 AM, Saturday, April 26, 2008

Have some family problems. Hais, goddamn it.

• 5:24 AM,

I'm feeling rather happy today haha.
Today went out to do project with Ying Chang, Qin Wei, Jovena, Zijie, Xinyi, Hannah and Shuping.
It was rather long la... We wasted much time la...
And me and Qin wei were like, more busy using psp!! I wanted to connect to the internet through psp. Should have given up at the start. Cos I forgot the singnet pw!! Lols. But in the end finish the proj somehow.o.o.
And Qin Wei and maybe Hannah saw my handphone messages and said I always message siewyi. Then like imply we got relationship. (??) Diaos. At least, that's what i think they were thinking.
Went mac to eat. Yc kept laughing at shuping for some reason. I finished my food first yay!!
Then left me and Yc. YC pei me walk around. Cos I want buy present for alex. When he sms me say no need. I already paid $16. ==
My allowance!! Jk la. He's a very nice friend, so nvm about the money. Not that I'm rich hor!
At Toys R Us, met Siewyi, Yiqing, Suelynn, Hui Xin. Wonder why they came. o.o
Ying Chang said to Hui Xin: Black black black slut.
Cos the girls were wearing black and she's the only one wearing pink all over.
Wonder why the girls and us separate halfway. Aiya, its not my prblem anyway. Its the 2 of theirs. o.o.

• 7:01 AM, Friday, April 25, 2008

Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!
Yesterday forgot to blog. Ahaha. I wanted to blog about badminton PT. So I shall do so now.
Yesterday's PT was damn fun lor!!!! We ran a lot, do a lot of push ups, sit ups, running up stairs, etc. (??) We even did sprinting!! My favourite. Haha.
Ok thats all. After PT went to MRT with Jenn Yeong and his friend. Forgot to ask for his name, but never mind. One thing in common with him. We both play PSP: Crisis Core Final Fantasy VII. Lols.

Todayis Speech day. So school ended early. But we had CIP anyway. So stay back lpr...
Lols.
It was fun la. But some people were creaming away and got caught by ms lim.
We picked rubbish. It was half hour(??), but it seemed as though it ended real quick.
We had refreshments!! It was real nice la!! We had a lil bit of fun. It ended real shortly.
We were given towels. Yay....
When we went back school, got scolded of course.
Then when everybody were dismissed, some people had to stay back to get scolded again.
....
Some of us stayed back to wait. x.x
But after that, everybody was still very happy luh. Its like, they didnt care. But they did care, and alot. o.o
Oh and ya, siewyi look darn stupid with a cap.

• 5:38 AM, Wednesday, April 23, 2008

So bored.
I wonder why I'm so bored all the time.
I don't know what to blog most of the time too. Lols.
Don't feel like updating actually. But I'll update just for the sake of updating. XD
Today really bored as usual.
But surprinsing thing is, morning no assembly, so we can just waste time in class. Whee.
The maths went to Comp lab. Did quiz. I finished in just 5 minutes plus. Got 4th. I think.
Yay. -.-
Then CEp did a card thingy. Wrote on other people's cards.
Only 16 people worte on my card. So pathetic. but as if I care.
nothing liaos.
So adios!! Tata.

• 6:23 AM, Saturday, April 19, 2008

Today's badminton training quite fun! But also a little boring la.
We did training every week ma. But today special, coach yeo let us do our own things.
But restricted to what the Sec 2 reps told us to do. I thought of playing psp if I brought it, then I realised I on't be allowed
We played hide and seek first. Kinda stupid la. Cos I was the last few to be caught. Me and Yang Yu were hiding in Sky Garden there! I shant specify. Ahaha.
Then we played Virus. Jaye's suggestion.
Not fun la. I got caught darn easily.
We went to play netball, but coach changed to cap's ball before we started. Ahaha. I don't want to play netball.
The boys win so easily luh. Not fun one... Cause it was so messy as there were so many sec 2s and 3s joining.
And I was sms-ing most of the time. From 9 to 12. Hahas.
Then when I left school I saw siewyi. Didnt stop to chat. Just said hi, and then byed.

• 5:56 AM, Friday, April 18, 2008

Today was fun ba.
Jovena and Ming Heng changed seat. Yay!!
Now I have someone to talk too!
I won't feel lonely liaos. Hehe.
This blog won't be privated anymore.
But some things will still be there. Like my feelings.
But some sacarstic things and things concerning the student's views of the teacher, I won't put lioa. In case people report. x.x
Sports Day.
Before that we were playing basketball. The boys la.
The girls and chang ying were sun tanning? Lols.
Hais. Its bored la. I'm not running. Sian.
So sad I was eliminated!!
Next year need plan properly le. I probably would be running 100m instead of 200m. Its easier for me to accelerate, i think. And maybe I can own them. Hahas.
But next year then care ba.

• 5:26 AM, Thursday, April 17, 2008

Sometimes, when I see people 'flirting'? With their steads, I just feel funny.
I'll start to think about her. Think about why was I "ditched".
She said I was different.
How was I different?
Well, its no use considering now that its a fact we can never get together.
I talked to her when she was bored.
I helped her when she was stuck with her homework.
I consoled her when she was troubled with her family problems, just like she did when I was troubled.
I apologised to her when I indirectly caused her to fall.
I comforted her when she was sick and was absent from school.
I felt guilt when I irritated her. When I 'bullied' her.
I regret making a decision of confessing.
I regret making a decision and asked her who she liked.

I regret making a decision, a decision of leaking a secret that I no longer thought it was mine to keep...
However, from the day she hated me, our past secret, was no longer mine to keep.

• 5:15 AM,

Today is quite interesting.
I chionged revision for Physics la... In the bus and at school. Didnt noe it was today until i asked Siewyi. Sheesh.
But the test turned out quite easy. I hope I can get A1. To cover up for the subjects that I know I can't or its hard to get A1.
Did chem class wrk with Ming Heng. People says he's a bad character. But he's a very nice guy ma. And Siewyi, Hui Xin, Ming Heng's seat there bery interesting. Unlike Jovena there lor...
In chem lesson, no one want seat with Jovena lor. Now you know why I cant comm with her well. Its the same for others.

• 6:15 AM, Thursday, April 10, 2008

This few days, I thought a lot.
Why am I trying to understand thm better, when they're just busy caring for themselves.
I don't know what to say. I have lots to voice out, but they just go blank when I want to blog.
I'm getting more and more pissed and fed up with the way life goes.
They just ignore me like its nobody's business. Unlike wayne, when I was doing PT for badminton, he listened to me when I said I was dog tired. I don't see anyone in class that can be my bff. Wayne could, Alex could, Junyi could, Kevin could, Darryl could.
Maybe I'm asking too much for a good friend. But at the least, I need someone trustworthy and can comfort me. Can anyone in 104 do that? I highly doubt so.

I'll just be back to the guy who only knew black and white, like I was. I won't act kisiao again.
I won't complain much. I won't complain about how bitchy anyone is, especially my mother.
I won't complain how life is anymore.
I might just transfer school, I might just transfer class. But I guess I won't. Since god loves to torture me so much. I'll just play with it.
You guys might ask why I've become so emotional yet unfeeling in time to come, but before you do, why not try asking yourself.

Fyi, I was crying while typing out this post. I'm not trying to earn sympathy. I don't need sympathy. Sympathy is like the most useless thing in the world. I just want each and everyone of you who ignored me when I wanted to voice out something, to ask you conscience.

• 5:34 AM, Wednesday, April 9, 2008

I feel I'm extra in class. Really extra.
When I'm feeling kinda attached with this class, they made me feel back when i was when I first came to nanhua.
Sometimes, when I just talk, people ignores me. They don't give a shit about what I'm trying to say.
Maybe you say I talk too softly. But what kind of a goddamned reason is this?!
Yes, I'm pissed off. Yes I'm getting cracked. But this IS the kind of classmates I get.
Seriously, I would get along better with alex, darryl, wayne, junyi, etc.
At least they care about me, they talk to me, they don't ignore me.
I even miss Alex's retardacy!
I wonder why I even live.
People say if we don't think about negativity, we can enjoy something.
To me, its bullshit.
I wonder why I even act kisiao.

Why I keep hearing Sue Mae saying something to Jenn Yeong that sounds like this: "叫永勤去啦"
What in the hell were they talking that involved... me?

• 6:46 AM, Monday, April 7, 2008

I was asked: "Whats the difference between steading and not?"
And I replied: " When you're not steading with someone you likes and he/ she likes you back. You'll feel miserable and shy when you're with him/ her."

• 6:10 AM,

Today is rather fun...
the class is very kisiao today.
Esp the girls la. The boys were quieter today. Except maybe Ying Chang.
And a new couple was introduced? haha. heck care la.
Home Econ. most fun. made cup cakes. very nice!! I got experience anyway, help mom prepare. So its naturally easier! and faster! Haha. Not bragging hor...
I brought home some. Even my mom praised me. She praises me very lil kay, so today a lil happier.
But only a tiny lil lil only.
Mr Chan as usual la. About to scold us today. Haha.

• 6:31 AM, Thursday, April 3, 2008

Today's lessons were rather interesting..
Science was quiet. And so its fun. Lols!
Hist was more of entertaining; Mdm yip showed us pictures of when Mr Lui came.
Funny? Many people laughed. I suppose too, I laughed too.
Assembly was noisy!! And I hate noise!!
So much noise and I can't stand it!! Crap!!
And so Mr Liu scolded us.
Chem, Shamima died I suppose. Ha.Ha.Ha.
A relief teacher came. No fun at all. Ms Neoh come better.

• 6:22 AM,

I want to watch Forbidden Kingdom. Anyone want watch?

Give me a PSP!!

• 6:17 AM, Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Today's a real happy day. But not to other's. According to me, a sad day is directly opposite for me. I'm a sadist, yay.
We started off with Malay. Stupid. Went to hall instead of auditorium. No aircon, no fun at all.
Had to sing a dumb song in malay. Eeeyer.

fast forward
Everyone got a scolding from Miss Lim. No offence, but thats the fun part, for me.
Because some people were not paying attention during chinese lessons? And other stuffs naturally.
Well, its kinda stupid lor. She has attitude prob and biasy.
She like pick on students who not really good in chinese or those who are "untidy".
An example, Moujun was about to read his newspaper this morning and she lectured him just because she wasn't seeing him reading. But i was itnessing everything from behind mou jun.
And I wasnt reading but ms lim didnt lecture me. No offense, Kelvin Goh's chinese isn't really good anyway (acc to him), but because his handwriting is good, she doesn't pick on him. If this isn't biasy, what is it?
we got a scolded much more, but i cant remember most of it. Zzz... Or rather, I don't want to remember, its not much of an interest.
And Moujun cried I think. I pity him. He got picked by some students "some"times. And he even got scolded by lps today. I don't know how to comfort him, I don't know what happened. Zzz...
I can't stand this anymore, she's getting on everyone's nerves. 1/3 acts ya ya papaya too, but has their teacher say anything? Goddamn it.
I want to take her on. But how do I do it? I don't have a plan...
Wow, this is my first time being this disrespectful?
God...

And Daniel brought his PSP to school...
Seeing his make me reall frustrated again. Hate it man...
Other's parentslike so giving lor... Let them buy things they want...
I cant even lor. I saved so damn much and my mom wouldn't let me buy one PSP.
I've been so patient with everything I'm getting impatient. Urrrrgh!!

• 5:58 AM, Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Today is rather fun? Lols.
Minister of State came today and this morning we're like VIPs. The VP addressed us in front of all the secondary school. =.=
It was PE for 1st lesson. We did the PT la... Sian... PT's are boring. I don't like them.
But a lot of people were cheating for the jog? Lols
And I lost my keys!! But fortunately, I found them. Woohoo!
Eng lesson MOS came, but he came for like 5- 10 minutes. Never stay and listen to everything Mr Kok prepared for. Nv give us lian. Qian bian!!
Today went back to Keming! Lols.I went to Wayne's class. Wow. Their class is so bland, lack of colours, but that's what i like about it. I wish 104 can be like that. Less colourful, more dull, but i only mean the classroom, not themselves. XD
At Keming, first saw Ms Leong. Lols. She gave us sweets bought from Japan. I got one on orange. It tasted rather nice, although i would have wabnted it to be sweeter...
Talked to Mdm Tan after thta. Talked for rather long, asked about our lives and past and about Nan Hua, too. She also asked us to do an online magazine? Whatever that is. Details will only be revealed to Ex-Keminites currently? Lols.

haiz... didnt get to see her today... i looked forward to looking at her smile again...